|Leicester in November - Maria A Smith|
I've been busy catching up with stuff, I've managed to get topside of my outstanding emails, and also made a dent in the household chores, I've been trying to clear the decks, so I can get on with my novel from where I left off, but its not quite worked in my favour. Lots of stuff has happened in the background requiring my time, as it often does, and work is as busy as ever.
Anyway, on the writing front, I've done a flash fiction piece, attended and chaired the writers group on Saturday, and afterwards spent time in the library doing some research for both novel, and a new short story. And then, for no good reason at all, I started to feel low. As if a black shadow had fell over me, and the nagging voice of doubt crept up on me, trying its best to fill me with angst! It wasn't even saying anything in particular, in fact it was more a feeling of foreboding about many things. I'm sure many of you reading this can identfy with me.
I didn't see it coming, and have tried hard to kick it into touch today. Self-doubt is one of the worst enemies of the writer, and I can't allow it to take hold. I'm giving myself permission to calm down, and look at the big picture. I'm a creative, we're notoriously good at this whole self doubt thing, its destructive, and I'm not buying into it! This week I'm going to clear my head of all this nonsense, and find the cure.
Firstly, I need to get some perspective, find space, so I'll walk, read, drink tea, eat cake, socialise, do whatever it takes to turn this around. Let my brain work out what's wrong. Okay, maybe it is a sign that something isn't quite right, some aspect of my writing life might not be working, I suspect its time management, and I need to shuffle things around, get into a new routine, maybe its that, or perhaps, I'm not really happy with a chapter, whatever it is, I'll get topside of it this week. I won't be beaten.
So tell me folks, how do you deal with self-doubt? Do you stand back and take stock? Or do you throw yourself screaming and kicking back into your WIP?