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Sunday, 24 November 2013

Goal List Week Commencing 24th November 2013

Leicester in November - Maria A Smith

I've been busy catching up with stuff, I've managed to get topside of my outstanding emails, and also made a dent in the household chores, I've been trying to clear the decks, so I can get on with my novel from where I left off, but its not quite worked in my favour. Lots of stuff has happened in the background requiring my time, as it often does, and work is as busy as ever.

Anyway, on the writing front, I've done a flash fiction piece, attended and chaired the writers group on Saturday, and afterwards spent time in the library doing some research for both novel, and a new short story. And then, for no good reason at all, I started to feel low. As if a black shadow had fell over me, and the nagging voice of doubt crept up on me, trying its best to fill me with angst! It wasn't even saying anything in particular, in fact it was more a feeling of foreboding about many things. I'm sure many of you reading this can identfy with me.

I didn't see it coming, and have tried hard to kick it into touch today. Self-doubt is one of the worst enemies of the writer, and I can't allow it to take hold. I'm giving myself permission to calm down, and look at the big picture. I'm a creative, we're notoriously good at this whole self doubt thing, its destructive, and I'm not buying into it! This week I'm going to clear my head of all this nonsense, and find the cure.

Firstly, I need to get some perspective, find space, so I'll walk, read, drink tea, eat cake, socialise, do whatever it takes to turn this around. Let my brain work out what's wrong. Okay, maybe it is a sign that something isn't quite right, some aspect of my writing life might not be working, I suspect its time management, and I need to shuffle things around, get into a new routine, maybe its that, or perhaps, I'm not really happy with a chapter, whatever it is, I'll get topside of it this week. I won't be beaten.

So tell me folks, how do you deal with self-doubt? Do you stand back and take stock? Or do you throw yourself screaming and kicking back into your WIP?

8 comments:

  1. Apart from chocolate, I find listmaking helps. Tasks not too over-ambitious, but the ticking off on completion seems to boost my self-esteem.
    Hope you are through it now and back to your productive and positive self.

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    1. Hello L, I agree list making is good, and it does focus me, I like the boost of ticking a completed task off too. A bit like an accountability chart of sorts...

      So far this week, and its only Tuesday! I've dealt with some writing related admin tasks, and my brain is trying to come up with a good idea for a short story I need to write in the next day or so...BUT, real life is hectic, and shows no sign of being beaten into the background. Argh! I will keep trying...good to hear from you, I hope its going well at your end?

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  2. Hey, Maria.
    Don't stop being hard on yourself, but don't take yourself seriously!?! If only.
    Self-doubt is only natural, especially at this time of year. The dark weeks of November are often when the black dog feels most at home at our side, but (usually) I find I do most of my writing at this time, as if I am asserting my will over the persistent doubt, or fears. Ok, so a lot of it turns out to be self-indulgent, mournful teenage angst, but there's normally a diamond somewhere amongst the rough that i can weedle out later.
    You're still writing which is more than a lot of aspiring novelists can say. Pat yourself on the back for that, at least.
    KBO.

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    1. Yes, that old black dog! You may have a point about the dark weeks, I'll make sure I get some daylight on my face and hands, as I know it makes a difference. Also CAKE helps...I'll get topside of this black dog very soon. :-)

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  3. Self doubt. That horrible little voice in the back of your head. :( Mine is called Joe and regularly hangs out on my shoulder telling me that everything I do is rubbish and should be packed in.

    These days I try to fob him off with chocolate and meaningful glances at my 'achievements board' but when that doesn't work I talk to my partner. He's very good at reminding me that I've done good things. That really helps me.

    This week Joe has been trying to sneak in and make me feel uncomfortable, but I've had enough baking and editing done to back me up when I told him to go hang. He wasn't happy about it, but so far he's left me alone. :)

    I hope you can beat your 'Joe' and send him packing. While a little bit of self-doubt is healthy to some degree, nobody wants to be consumed by it. ...y'hear that, Joe!

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    1. Self doubt has been dispatched, I think being very tired has had a lot to do wit it... :-) I shall be addressing that one.

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  4. http://allwritefictionadvice.blogspot.co.uk/ has something to say about self-doubt in the latest post

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